Life is Good
As I sit here keeping my small screaming child from blowing a gasket while mama is in the shower, I feel a great deal of pity for myself. I can't walk without a gimp thanks to a broken ankle, I should be in bed sleeping peacefully, and most of all I should have enjoyed a cold Dew before retiring for the night. My poor ankle got broke a couple weeks ago when, like a dummy, I thought I was young and strong again and was playing a game with my siblings. My "little" sister turned 18 and we were celebrating the over-the -hump period in her life by running around like mad monkeys in the Sahara. I stepped into a large pit on a dead run and something went snap, crackle, or otherwise popped inside my ankle. It's broke and I limp around in a splint. As I think about it with the wisdom that my age will bring, I realize that I am actually quite lucky. I could be pushing up toadstools and algae, I could have 2 broken feet, I could be out in the thunderstorm looking for a place to sleep, or I could even be dead. I have light from an electric bulb, I'm warm (or cool) and dry, I have a place to live, a car to drive, a family to love me, and even a computer with internet access. I have a good job and no needs. God is so good to us, and here I sit complaining about my sad, miserable life. What a concept. He sent his son to suffer and die the cruelest death known to man so we could live our care free cushy life and still have a better place to go when we die. Sure makes our problems look pretty small, don't it?

Finally a current, updated picture for my blog. Here is my sweet wife Miriam and little baby Jessica outside our "house" this winter. We had about 6 feet of snow this winter making for a lot of good sledding. Now a sea of mud awaits the sunshine.

Another Educated Stupid Person

After many wasted years I have finally graduated. The school system has cranked out yet another educated dummy. I now have a wortless little piece of paper that says I am an educated man, and still my education has done me no good. Now, instead of being rich and famous, I wasted four years of my dwindling life and am a broke hopeless man. Aside from this depressing thought, it feels good to be done with school (till this fall) and as potential patients, beware a new graduate nurse on the loose. As I have said before and will say again, "In case of a hankering to go to college, here's what to do: Swiftly bash head into immovable object and repeat as often as needed until the said hankering is gone for good from your now bashed head. Oh what I would give for the days when life was simple. No taxes, no college, no paperwork, no girls, no bills, no worries (except that lunch-time would never come), no responsibilities, ah yes, that was the life." That is more true now than ever, but at least now that I have an education I know how to deal with everything. Now I must find a job, pass my state boards, and act like a nurse.

Finally, Something FREE!!!!!!!!!

I know it sounds crazy, but boy, oh boy do I have the thing for you, and yes, it is absolutely free! I know it is easy to get excited when an offer like this is made so let me say this, Go-Ahead, get excited, jump up and down, run around screaming (if your the type), or drink all you Mt Dew at once. Now let me explain. Exactly a week ago, I was sitting in class not feeling very well. Now you must understand that I have a hard enough time listening, but when I feel lousy I simply cannot pay attention. Anyway, the week drug on with a horrible test on Friday, a cold snowy Saturday, and, yeah, that was the end of that week. Sunday I woke up feeling more of the bad feeling I had felt on Thursday. I stayed in bed all day and felt much better Monday morning. Now don't get bored, stick with me here, I will explain you're free gift soon enough. Monday I went to class, but still felt lousy, so I slept under a table in the back (great way to enjoy a finance class). Tuesday I was up most of the day, but by afternoon I felt horrible again. Wednesday was spent laying in bed with one foot in the grave. I was so sick, in fact, that I went in the house to let my mommy and sisters take care of me. (In reality, the main reason I went inside was that I did not want to die in my camper, I was afraid I'd stink by the time someone found me). It was real nice not having to do anything for a few hours, though completely demoralizing to be at the mercy of my mother once more. (If mom reads this she'll probably rip the hide off me and bat me dizzy with it). Anyhow, I survived till now, skipped out on all my classes today, did nothing but eat and sleep, and in return, I feel a little bit better now. Hopefully I'll be well enough to enjoy Bear season in 9 days. Well, now the fun part. I am offering absolutely FREE, no strings attached, no shipping and handling charges, no fine print, and no obligations, a delightfully debilitating disease from which you may never get up. Now if this isn't better than the free lunches that don't exist, I dont know what is. Whatever you do, don't do what I did to get this sickness, but that information aint free. For a nominal charge I'll tell you exactly what I did to get this illness (Cash or Check, please).
Avoid the plague!

Unique??

I have been way to busy to post anything lately, but I had a moment tonight and I must share a troubling statement I received this week. Someone called me unique. That should, at the very least, strike fear in the heart of any man, but it nearly did me in. I am not very smart, and a statement like that makes me think long and hard about the meaning. Now, to a normal person, thinking is good, but for me it is dangerous. I can only think a short time every day or I may blow what's left of my little mind. Unique? What's that supposed to mean? What did I ever do to deserve such a title? Weird, stupid, insane, foolish, these things I can understand, but unique? That could mean anything, good or bad. I may work on diesels, run a trap line, play the piano, and go to nursing school, but that makes me well-rounded (or flat crazy), not unique. I always considered myself the definition of an average, normal guy, but then I get called unique. I don't know whether to take it as a compliment or a polite substitute for stupid. Such deep things are to much for my little mind, I suppose I should go consult my pillow, it is amazingly wise.

Break?????

They call this time of year Christmas vacation, a break from school, a chance to relax and prepare for next semester. I am glad for the slight break from school, but for those of us who work for a living, a break means we must catch up on all the things that we couldn't do because of school. So far this break I have been busier than a one-armed paper hanger in a windstorm. I haven't had a chance to think about thinking, much less prepare for next semester. After I got all my paperwork done I was going to take a break, but when I found out how much I owe for taxes, I decided I needed to make some changes. Either I must find a different line of work, work harder and longer, or get married. I guess that makes sense, a married fella shouldn't have to deal with taxes, he's got worse things to mess with. Anyway, since the last choice isn't much of a choice (especially for me), and I'm to stupid to do anything but fix cars and build houses, I decided that I had better work harder. This decision was not without consequence, however, because soon after I figured I had all kinds of time to work with, by computer died, I was smashed between two cars which cost me nearly $200 (for a new cell phone), my tranny gave it up in my car, and I lost a half-shaft in my pickup. If anyone knows anyone who knows anything about cars, I could really use some help. It is getting hard to find good help around here, and I would rather pay someone to do my work than have to do it myself, I'm to old and fat to work anymore. Well, I must get back to the grind, my car will not fix itself with any amount of persuasion.

PAPERS, PAPERS EVERYWHERE

I HATE papers. With the "joyous" Christmas season comes the need for the enterprising young businessman to do year-end paperwork. I have to keep track of several different sources of income, go through a whole years worth of receipts (I spend a lot of money), invoices, checks, etc., just to pay a large sum for taxes. Many an innocent Dew has disappeared down the hatch helping me burn the late night candles in order to get all this paperwork done. Some people think I'm stupid (I happen to be one of them), because I spent all summer slaving away so I could get my LPN. I figured on getting a steady job and taking it easy. Somehow I couldn't see taking a pay cut and keeping my fingers clean, and thus never looked for a job. Maybe some day I will get smart and get a real job, but for now I must continue the maddening task of bookkeeping. Someday, like my oldest brother did years ago, I will find a wife to do such things for me, but that's a tall order (especially around here). I figure if I survive to see next year, maybe I will graduate from the biggest mistake I ever made. They say "Life is hard, and then you die", and I have to agree with the first part. I'm just waiting to prove that statement true now. A word of wisdom from a "wise" (and very old) man, never go to college. In case of a hankering to go to such a college, here's what to do: Swiftly bash head into immovable object and repeat as often as needed until the said hankering is gone for good from your now bashed head. Oh what I would give for the days when life was simple. No taxes, no college, no paperwork, no girls, no bills, no worries (except that lunch-time would never come), no responsibilities, ah yes, that was the life.